The Snowball Effect

As another foot and a half of snow threatens to disconnect New Englanders with their sanity, I've found some time to reflect and feel grateful.

Attitude, like snow, piles on. It snowballs. The attitude you choose will pick up momentum whether it's positive or negative. 

Roughly 6 years ago, I was in more than $30K of credit debt, $40K of college debt, I had no health insurance, I had no savings account, I was working a job that was killing my spirit (and my kidneys) and I had messed up my taxes something fierce. (which put me in another $10K of debt)  Everything piled on. Birthdays. A need for new shoes. Holidays. Weddings. Shame. Guilt. Shame. Guilt. Self doubt. A sense of feeling hopeless and lost. A sense that I had no control. A sense that I was using sentence fragments as if they were sentences.

It was dark. It was shameful. I didn't feel like a good person.

Today, it's light.

I paid off all of my credit debt through consolidation, I have manageable monthly college repayments (and less than $6K left), I have health insurance, I'm opening a savings account, I am my own boss setting my own hours with my own goals, my taxes are almost completely corrected with manageable monthly repayments. 

Here's how I did it: one step at a time. 

One positive choice at a time. 

My positivity snowballed. I began to see opportunities in everything. I began to feel confident enough to ask for help when I needed it. I began to put myself in front of and in the proximity of people I admired for inspiration and opportunities. It took time. It took patience. It took choices.

Why am I telling you this?

It is my belief that sharing my vulnerabilities and 'failures' might help you acknowledge, access, share and defeat your own.

Just because I'm on stage making people laugh and sharing good times or positive vibes on social media doesn't mean I don't feel the very real pain and isolation that often comes with being human.

American culture would have you believe that you're weak if you can't do it on your own.
The truth is that without (literally) each one of you, I don't get through it. I'm not me. I'm still dark. I'm not who you know without you. For that I'm forever thankful.

In these dark winter months, it's hard to shake that feeling of isolation but I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. You're never alone. There's always a way out and there will always be people willing to help you. I am one of them. Please, if you feel isolated, reach out to me. I've got you.
I love you all.

#DJBthereforyou